Monday, January 12, 2009

I need you to hear me

What a week. No, not even that what a weekend.

I’m still in the process of figuring out just what has been going on with my classes and such and trying to get back in the groove of things after Christmas break and on Saturday the cord to my laptop up and bit the dust. And since my laptop’s battery has been kaput for months my laptop is just a pretty paperweight until I get the new one in the mail.

Not really a deadly situation, or even one that would faze someone that isn’t so nerdy as I am. Then this morning, I lost my cell phone. It had fallen out of my pocket at some point of the parking lot apparently but I was more than a little bit stressed digging through my stuff to find it. Thankfully, my roommate called it and someone had turned it in to a Lost and Found on campus. But in that two, three hour gap when it was lost I came to a couple of conclusions.

We say we are so happy to live in a wireless society, that every day technology is advancing so quickly that we have more freedom than ever. I’m here to tell you that that is a lie. I’m pretty well shackled to my technology. And it’s not just me; everyone around me is just as attached. Sitting in class, I listened as my instructor directed us to log-on to our eLearning class platform. He showed us where the new assignments were and then proceeded to begin the day’s lecture. I sat there the entire time thinking to myself, “How am I going to get this done?” As quietly as I could, I started multi-tasking, checking homework assignments for other classes, still quietly panicking that I didn’t have enough time. For a moment I contemplated calling my work and asking to be rescheduled to the weekend until I remembered my phone was gone.

What a wake-up call for me. I don’t know how to fulfill the responsibilities in my life without this technology that I’ve taken so for granted. For a little while, I was unreachable and it sorta scared me. My over-productive imagination began churning out scenarios where I had to be reached, and no one could find me.

Human beings are so vain and dependent on one another. Oh sure, I’ve ignored calls before – delayed replying to emails until the problem has been otherwise resolved, but that option was taken away. I couldn’t cut or draw new lines of communication because my ability to do so was taken away.

And I’m so possessive of it! The other day I laughed at a web-sticker that said “I like my computer, my friends live in it.” The disgusting thing is that in the past two days I’ve felt lonely. Ridiculous, my friends have been kind in aiding me with checking email and stuff on their computers, but it’s just that: it’s their computers, not mine. In science-fiction we see the warnings about future societies that meld with their media, becoming cyborgs and superhuman computers with artificial intelligence when really it’s not that far off, culturally.

Half-an-hour ago, I logged onto this computer at the school’s library. First thing I did, was pull my headphones out of my pocket and plug them in. It was ten minutes before I even thought to turn on any music, but there the cord was: hanging from my ear and securely plugged into the tower, like some strange umbilical cord.

What am I trying to say? I’m not certain, but all morning uncomfortable thoughts have been rolling around in my brain, demanding that I express them. Crazy thing? I’ve listened, and now I’m passing them onto you, another communication line built; this one a safety line until I can repair the others. But what’s more desperate – my making this available to you or the hope that you feel the same?

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